Sympathy for Drunk Girl: A Note About Failure

I have not posted in a long time, for various reasons - not the lest of which being I forgot my motto. I drank instead of doing things. But I have also been trying to juggle my work life with my personal life (both of which took a sharp turn for the worst in the past few months but are gradually getting better). The not-too-distant future is going to look into these events but I want to take the time to address the YUGE elephant in the room. Why, oh why, did I go off rails? Why would I want to talk about this on a blog page dedicated to literally everything else I do instead of drinking?

Because we need to talk about failure.

We need to talk about those moments when we look in the mirror and say, "Who the hell is that?!" In my case, I know who the hell that is.  Let's call her "Drunk Girl".

I Went on a Date with Myself

A candle was lit in the kitchen, accompanied by low-light throughout the apartment. Garam masala permeated the air. The husband was away, and I didn't have to go anywhere that night. It was a relaxing night and perfect night for a date. A date with me, myself, and I.

Weekend Wrap-up

Greetings all! Since this blog is pretty new, I didn't want to over-saturate with too much content too quickly. Over the weekend, I decided to take a break and I managed to do some fun things!

1) I went to a French Bakery
This place is located not too far from my house. I pass by it on a regular basis, but I never really go in that often. Since the hubby and I were off Saturday (very rare), I decided to take him out to breakfast. Quiche Loraine, his favorite, was freshly baked that day, so he could not pass it up. A spinach and goat cheese quiche was calling to me, as was a little cherry dessert. These concoctions were sinfully delicious.

The Cherry Dessert. Since I can't remember the name, I will just leave this photo here

Video Games (Part One):Thinking about Sonic and Legends

Disclaimer: I am terrible at playing video games. Growing up, I had my brother's old Sega Genesis and a dozen or so games that only worked after profuse blowing. I never even heard of games using alternative camera angles until 2005. However, I have always enjoyed watching other people play video games, like my brother scoring Fatalities in Mortal Kombat or my friends playing Final Fantasy. The only games I have completed on my own include Undertale, A Bird Story, and Mr. Chin-Chin (Gameboy's most racist gourmet). So I may not be a let's-player, but I have a respect for video games and an appreciation for their spot in pop culture.

Last Night, Instead of Drinking, I Tore a Car Apart

It's not everyday you get to say this, but I tore the doors off a a car last night with spreaders (aka: Jaws of Life).  The man next to me in that picture is my husband. Since we started dating, he tried his damnedest to get me into our local fire department's Citizen's Fire Academy. He joined the department five years ago shortly after his experience with CFA and after last night I can certainly see why.
I will be posting more pictures as I get them, so got now all you get is my husbands glorious mustache and a reassuring thumbs up from me. Keep posted, though. This will be edited as I go along. For now, though, let me tell you about the Jaws of Life...
They are heavy as balls.
Seriously.
And trying to work your way around a heavy tool capable of dismemberment with clunky gloves and a bobbling helmet is awkward. But Oh My is it fun! Our teacher for the night, Ed, is a man with a rather interesting resume. He has worked in every environment you can think of: airplane crashes, gang wars, floods. Ed has seen some shit. So tearing open an empty car was second nature to him, and we all got turns smashing windows, ripping metal, and sheering panels. One lady in our group, Ann, is pushing 80 years old. A few younger men held the Jaws up for her so she could turn the handle and tear off one of the doors. She beamed! Everyone had a blast demolishing the cars last night. And I may talk about some more CFA shenanigans as the weeks go on, especially if we have pictures.
Closing thoughts: tearing open a car is fun, but the people who know how to use spreaders for a living aren't using them when the car is empty. Safety personnel see things that civilians can't begin to fathom or ever want to encounter. If your local fire or police station has a community outreach event, go to it. See what it's like to do what they do. It's also a good way to spend your time if you don't want to drink :)

Another Day One: An Introduction to TIDID

Fresh coffee, house-made almond milk, and a fan. Everything essential for a new day.

This is an experiment. For a while now, I have been wrestling with the idea of alcohol abstinence. Every so often I get cravings and succumb to the dry martini or hopped cider. One week of drinking out of the month is a pretty good record for me - compared to my minimum of three a day in years passed - but it is still seven drinks too many. I have distractions, but I've needed something else to keep up the motivation.

Ladies and gents, I present to you: Things I Do Instead of Drinking. What is it? Why is it? How is it? I have no clue. I doubt anyone is going to read this, but in the event people follow this experiment I might as well offer an explanation. I have always loved reading and writing, giving me a healthy outlet for depression and anxiety, Drinking to cope with my mental health has lead to the same conclusions; increased depression, decreased funds, high blood pressure, embarrassing photos, I could go on. No matter how delicious or creative the drinks are, the results are always the same... and that's boring. Writing, on the other hand, is never predictable. This may be a blog of incoherive, nonsensical components, and that's okay. Because I feel better knowing that I wrote something - anything - instead of going out for that glass of wine.

My goal is to come up with several things I can do instead of wasting my time and money drinking. For example, I spent less than $20 on a new coat and a pretty blue fan and had some change to spare on a fresh cup of coffee. $20 at a bar is enough for two martinis and a tip, or a few rounds of IPA's and a tip, for one day. That coat is going to last me several winters. That fan is going with me everywhere I go (because once you start using a hand fan, you don't stop). That coffee didn't last me long, but it was fresh and came with house-made almond milk. House. Made. Almond milk. It's just at that level of bourgeoisie to make me feel hipster guilt, but not enough to make me care.

On a somewhat more serious note, in the event someone does read this and is struggling with addiction, I hope you can find some inspiration in this. Like I said before, this is an experiment. I never like speaking in absolutes and I am not sure how sobriety looks for my future. But even if I fail or have a slip, maybe I can at least give someone a good laugh or ideas for healthier outlets. For now, this was day one (again) of a nice sober life. Thanks for humoring me, and let's see what happens tomorrow.

Much Love,
Sam